Life In Pixels: Hello there.

Excerpt: I love the sea.

Excerpt: An Open Letter To The Girl With A Broken Heart

An Open Letter To The Girl With A Broken Heart

MAY. 8, 2014 

By JAE LIN

You are an amazing person. You’re one of a kind. You’ve heard this from guys before, but there is really something about you. Some je ne sais quoi. And you have to own that.

There is no one else in this world like you. You are one of the best things someone could ever have. You have so much to offer, so much to give. You have a love that is just waiting for the right person, the right moment — that one that can make you feel unafraid…secure and safe, even when vulnerable. You deserve to be loved, to have your feelings respected. You deserve peace, and calm, and soundness of mind. You deserve to feel cared for. Mostly, you deserve someone who wouldn’t hurt you in any way, just like how you can never even begin to think about hurting them.

You don’t need to worry about anything. You don’t have to wonder if your significant other is cheating on you or lying to you because in a way, life naturally sorts everything out. If they decide to do those things to you, then you know they do not deserve you. You know there will be someone better despite the lies you tell yourself that maybe, he’s the best you can ever have. You have seven other billion people left. You just have to be strong enough to let go and to stand by what is best for you. Do not be anxious or insecure. The wrong ones will be weeded out by their own doing.

Do not think of heartbreak as misery, but as a blessing — a sign from fate, a heads up from the world. Be thankful that you found out soon enough and that you can start over again. I know it hurts, it will hurt, and you will feel like your world is crumbling down around you and your heart is in physical pain but you will get over that…just like you have before. And see, well, you’re still alive. You’re still here. You can still smile. You can feel pain. That’s good. You’re human.

You have to realize that forcing yourself to the wrong person is just keeping you away from the right one. You don’t deserve to cry. You don’t deserve to be curling in pain, yet you allow yourself to. Partly because you still think things could change, partly because you think who you’re with is the one you’re supposed to be with, and sometimes because you don’t know what else to hold on to. You’re lost. That’s okay. Take your first step. Now you’re going somewhere.

You have to accept that things will happen, and they are beyond your control. You control you and decide for you, not for anyone else. You have to accept that people will screw up and mess up no matter how many times you beg them not to. Their thoughts are different from yours. Accept that and know that a person who really loves you will continuously decide to not do anything that will hurt you. You don’t even have to worry about it.

Trust me — one day you’ll look back and smile because you know that one of the best things you’ve ever done was let go of someone who you thought you loved, someone who might have loved you at some point, too, but who in the end was never really right for you. 

Just A Thought. The Pre-Written Love Story

They met thru planning of a trek.

He likes her.

She likes him.

But he has a girlfriend.

She left him.

They met after several months.

He's now single.

He courted her.

They became official.

He transferred to her town.

They worked in the same place.

He proposed.

She said yes.

They got married.

-end-

Just A Thought: In Time

We've been seeing each other for a while now.

We've been talking on the phone almost every hour.

and we've been sharing dreams and plans for the future of each other. 

I like you and you said the same thing.

We can talk everything and anything.

You said we'll travel together.

We'll go to Batanes, London and Greece.

That's our dream.

You never said you love me though.

It's either "you're special" or "I blank you"

I understand or maybe I would like to understand it

even though I don't.

The mountain saw everything.

Pulag saw how I am so into you.

I conquered not just the mountain but also myself.

I gave in.

But for the past few weeks, I've been thinking if this is worth my time.

I asked for security.

But then you said, "in time".

Will it ever come?

feeling poet post for tonight. Fcuk.

xx

Life In Pixels: Exam Buddy ;)

coaching this guy for his civil service exam next week! hehe

Wanderlust: Bewilderment at Mt. Pulag

I've been wanting to visit and witness the famous sea of clouds at Mt. Pulag. I planned it several times for the past few years with my friends but it didn't push through. This year, 2014, I took no more excuses. Thank God, I met someone who shares the same passion with me.

Here are some snapshots from the trip!

Our Group

Glenn, Alex, Jhulz, moi, Jay

Stopped to take pictures!

Glenntot :)

...and after hours of walking, we finally reached the Camping Ground 2!!

on our way to Peak 3

Unfortunately, we didn't see the sea of clouds. But I am still thankful for the experience!



Until we meet again, Mt. Pulag! <3

Wanderlust: My 26th!!!

Advance celebration of my 26th birthday. Feeling so happy and blessed to spend it with my loves!

Life In Pixels: Makipamuhay XIX

Letran - Calamba

Brgy. Tungkod, Sta. Maria, Laguna

Just A Thought: 2014.....loading!

It's been almost a month since I posted something here. I've been busy with the things I prayed months ago. A lot of stuff with regards to my Masters Degree. There's reflection papers, case study reports, thoughts about legal basis, reporting, etc. There were also a lot of meetings, programs, gift giving, kasalang bayan, and Christmas parties at the City Hall. I know I prayed for this. But never in my wildest dream would I have imagined that it will all come true. I was determined to get this but I never thought that the universe will agree...

Anyway, all these things started with this message I got from an fb app called "God wants you to know..."

afternoon of June 16, 2013

I posted this because that time, I was thinking to resign. I didn't think it would mean more than that. This message made a huge sense after I heard the saddest, most heartbreaking, and life shattering news of my life.

After that, without any second thoughts, I passed my resignation. I remembered all the things I planned and wanted in my life. I brood over the things that my father wanted and dreamed for me. I want to teach. I want a Masters Degree at UP Diliman. I still want to teach the oppressed and marginalized people. I don't want to work in a call center anymore.

I started my unemployed life by taking a short course at Calamba Manpower Development Center. I took Bread & Pastry Production NC II and I already got my certificate. I also took MATE or the Masters Admission Test in Education. I passed, I enrolled and 3 months from now, I'll finish my first semester in UP Diliman. I was also able to renew my license as a Professional Teacher. This is it. I am getting there.

Another thing I prayed so hard is for God to remind me that my purpose is not in a BPO industry. I worked there for 4 years. I enjoyed it but I was not fulfilled. There were a lot of times when I was tempted to apply again because I want money. You can imagine how depressed I was four or five months ago. I was broke. I was incomplete. I was left behind. It's like I was living someone else's life that I am not used to. It was like I'm in a bad dream. Everyday I was praying that everything was just a dream. When I heard that before, I thought it was only a cliche. But, no. It's real. It is happening. There will be an unfortunate event in your life and all you can do is just wish. Wish that it was a just a bad dream. But every morning, every single morning, reality will smack me and remind me that it is not.

I miss my dad. I know he will be the first one to say, ang galing ko. And to quote one of The Scripts' songs, I hope he's up there with God saying, 'That's my kid!'

 Moving on, I know several people were asking how I ended up working in the City Government of Calamba. Simple. I sent them a message that they might need me. And they do. They asked me to visit Mayor's Office, job offer, and that's it. I believe this is God working on my life. A day before that, a call center company was calling me and they're offering a job. God answered my prayer. Transcom will be the first and last call center company I'll be connected with.

Who would have thought that I will be working with the Mayor? That there's a job wherein you'll just stalk your crush and get paid? kidding! But yes, our City Mayor is super guapo, super talino and very opinionated. It actually came to the point that I don''t feel like working at all.

Ou City Mayor - Atty. Justin Marc SB Chipeco

Speaking of the Mayor, I remember that we will have our meeting / planning tomorrow with the department heads. City Mayor + department heads + me. Again, who would have thought? Haha.

God says, "Forget what happened before, and do not think about the past. Look at the new thing I am going to do. It is already happening. Don't you see it?" (Isaiah 43:18-19)

Dear 2013,
I am glad and joyful that you are finally done.
You broke my heart into tiny pieces.
I don't hate you but I don't like you.
Happy New Year!

xoxo

Life In Pixels: Newbie

Innovative ideas by young blood servers.

Just A Thought: Bakit?

Sa totoo lang, ayokong magtanong kung bakit. Kung bakit ka kinuha agad. All this time pinapatatag ko sarili ko. Pinipilit kong wag tanungin ang Diyos kung bakit ang aga namang bawiin ka samin. Ayoko sana syang kwestyunin. Pilit kong iniisip na may dahilan. Pero hindi ko na kayang hindi magtanong...

Anung dahilan?

Bakit ka kinuha agad?

Bakit ang aga?

Bakit ikaw pa?

Ano bang plano?

Ang daming nangyayare sa buhay ko ngayon, Di. At alam kong ikaw ang kaunaunahang matutuwa kung andito ka pa. Ikaw ang kaunaunahang magsasabi sa akin na "Ayos yan, Dang!"

Nagresign nko sa call center. Andito nko lagi sa Laguna ngayon. Alam ko ito ang gusto mo kahit hindi mo sinasabi skin dati.

Nag-apply na din ako sa DepEd. Balak ko na magturo. Ito ang pangarap mo skin, di ba? Actually pangarap ko din naman yan. Kaso natatakot ako dati eh. Feeling ko wala pa naman akong maibabahagi sa mga magiging estudyante ko.. Pero eto na.. Nag-file npo ako ng application.

Nagpapacertify na rin ako sa TESDA para sa NCII Certification para makapasok agad sa mga schools. Malapit na, Di...

Natuloy na din ang pagmamasteral ko. Namimiss kita. Sigurado akong kung andito ka pa, ikaw ang maghahatid skin kada papasok ako. Titiisin mo init ng araw maihatid lang ako sa Bus Station. At sympre, ikaw din ang kakaon sakin after school. Kahit gabing-gabi na. Namimiss ko umangkas sayo sa motor tuwing gabi.. Kada ihahatid mko. Yung amoy mo. Yung mga kwento mo. Yung mga tanong mo skin tungkol sa trabaho kahit alam ko na hindi naman un ang gusto mong trabaho para sakin. Mahal na mahal kita. Kahit kailan hindi mo ako pinressure. Hinayaan mo lang ako matuto sa sarili kong pagkakamali at makatuklas ng mga bagay mag-isa. Maraming salamat sa tiwala. Kada pauwi ako sa mula Manila naiisip kita. Naiiyak ako. Naiisip ko na sana andito ka pa. Na pag baba ko ng bus makikita kita na katabi ng motor, nag-iintay sakin.

Nga pala, Di... Nagttrabaho nko sa munisipyo ngayon. Isa to sa mga frustrations mo sa buhay dba? Ang bilis ng mga pangyayari.. Wala akong kilala ni isa sa kanila. Wala din namang nag-back up skin para makapasok ako sa city hall. Feeling ko kagagawan mo to eh. Nilakad mo to noh?

Sobrang miss na kita. Pero hindi ka naman na babalik eh. Yung thought lang na nasa laangit ka kasama si God, yun nlng ang nagpapalakas ng loob ko. Ikaw ang idolo ko, Di. Sana ang ibibigay ni Lord na mapapangasawa ko ay kagaya mo. Yun talaga lagi ang pinagdadasal ko. Kahawig ni Ryan Eigenmann, may takot sa Diyos at sympre gusto ko parang ikaw. Close to perfect. Kahit wag na yung unang category. Kahit yang second and last na lang. 

Mugto na mata ko. Wrong idea talaga tong pagpapatugtog ng "Butterfly Kisses" habang sumusulat sa'yo. Alam mo Di, umattend ako ng dalawang wedding last week. Hindi ko mapigilang maiyak dun sa dance with a father thing. Alam ko kase na hindi na yun mangyayari sa kasal ko. Wala na nga pla kong tatay na mag-sasayaw sa akin sa wedding day ko. Sabi ko pa naman dati, sa gabi bago ang kasal ko, sa gitna nyo ni mommy ako matutulog. Para for the last time, katabi ko ulit kayo matulog. Pero wala na.. Sa imagination ko nlng lahat yun matutupad...

Pakita ka naman sa panaginip ko, Di. Sobrang miss na kita... Mahal na mahal na mahal kita. Hindi ako magsasawang magpasalamat sa Diyos dahil pina-experience ka Nya samin. You're the best gift I've ever recieved.

Unti-unti nang natutupad ang pangarap ko, pangarap mo at plano sakin ni God. Ang weird at hindi ko maexplain pero ramdam kong He's working on my life. Parang lahat ng bagay na nagyayare, papunta dun.. Sana sa takdang araw, makita ulit kita. Hindi ka man makilala ng utak ko, alam kong ididikta ng puso ko na ikaw ang naging tatay ko sa lupa. Ipapaalala sakin ng puso ko kung gaano ka kaespesyal sakin. Sana dumating ang araw na maintindihan ko rin kung bakit ang aga mong nawala.. Pero kakapit ako sa plano ng Diyos para sating lahat. Sabi ko nga dati, hindi ko na tatanungin kung bakit nangyare. Pero sana tulungan Nya ko para maintindihan ko ang dahilan. Kase ngayon, pagkatapos ng kulang kulang limang buwan, hindi ko pa rin naiintindihan kung bakit ka kinuha agad..

:'(

Just A Thought: Officially Enrolled

Looking back, I remember how excited I was when I blogged last May the things that I want. One of those is to have my Masters Degree in University of the Philippines - Diliman.

And now, I am officially enrolled as a graduate student of Master of Arts in Education Major in Non-Formal Education for Second Semester A.Y. 2013-2014. It was tiring but worth it. Tiring - because I came all the way from Laguna and UP Diliman is a huge university that I had to walk a total of five kilometers going to different buildings to finish all their requirements like the medcert from UP Health Service.

Timeline:
May 24 - I passed my application and all the requirements for the second semester
Aug 1   - Received an email that I am qualified to take MATE  or the Master's Admission Test in Education [blog here]
Aug 29 - I took MATE [blog here]
Oct 16 - Received another email from the Office of the College Secretary that I passed MATE and I am qualified for the admission [blog here]
Oct 22 - Attended the orientation for the new UPCEd  Graduate students
Oct 23 - finished all the requirements such as medcert, university admission slip, and college admission slip
Nov 4 - enrollment!
Nov 5 - paid the tuition fee / ENROLLED!! :)

Movie house? No.
A much awaited play? No.
Concert? Hell no.
This is the line inside a theater for the tuition fee payment.
The UP Diliman Style!

xxxo

Just A Thought: Master's Update

(^______^)

excuse that. Haha!

Here's the email I received a week ago.

First thing I thought? Why Provisional Admission? According to the orientation earlier, Master students are required to take and pass MATE before they are admitted provisionally for a period of one semester. ALL freshmen are admitted with this status and they should have atleast 2.0 of CWA after their first sem to be a regular student.

brochures / guide / etc

It was a tiring day. I had to secure a medcert from UP Health Service. I had to waaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

But anyway, THIS is a blessing. I prayed for this. I want this. Thank You, Lord!

<3

xx

Life In Pixels: Missing my long hair!

Just A Thought: FIRST!!

First time to use flour, to knead and make a dough. This experience means a lot!

Coz duuuuudddeee!! Marunong nkong mag-gawa ng pandesal!! :)

Just A Thought: First Week @ CMDC

I enrolled to a short course at Calamba Manpower Development Center (CMDC) last month and it already started last October 1. We had an induction at Central I from 8am-5pm. There were talks about the center, the courses, and their rules. Mayor Timmy Chipeco was also there to give motivation to the trainers and trainees.

I was able to meet the other trainees taking the same course as mine which is Bread & Pastry Production. Good thing, there is no on the job training for this course unlike the Commercial Cooking NC II which requires an OJT at Max's.

The 60Php I paid when I enrolled was for the photo we'll need for the NC II Assessment on December. So technically, there is really NO PAYMENT for this course. Thank you so much, Mayor!

First day - we had an overview about our course. Our trainer is Mr. Vergillo Mendoza. He's super warm, friendly, funny, knowledgeable and kind! We also had our class election and I was elected as their sexytary. Haha!

I am so engrossed with this class! I love learning new things! I really don't have any idea about baking. The only food I can cook with flour is pancakes! Haha. I'm pretty sure that this will be fun! I will blog it once I got to bake my own pan de sal! :)

PS/off-topic:

I am still waiting and hoping for a positive result of my MATE (UP Diliman) ^^

xx

Just A Thought: Common

I was born believing that I am exceptional.

That I can do anything I want. 

That I am great -great enough not to compromise. 

I believed that I am special. 

An independent woman who knows what she's doing, who knows all the way in and all the way out. 

But I am wrong.

There would come a time that you'll be left with no choices at all but to merely accept the fact that you've got a problem.

That you are full of flaws.

That you are not perfect and ideal.

-_-

xx

Musing: 029

If I treated you the way you treated me, you would hate me.

ANON

Life In Pixels: 2014 Dream