Just A Thought: In Time

We've been seeing each other for a while now.

We've been talking on the phone almost every hour.

and we've been sharing dreams and plans for the future of each other. 

I like you and you said the same thing.

We can talk everything and anything.

You said we'll travel together.

We'll go to Batanes, London and Greece.

That's our dream.

You never said you love me though.

It's either "you're special" or "I blank you"

I understand or maybe I would like to understand it

even though I don't.

The mountain saw everything.

Pulag saw how I am so into you.

I conquered not just the mountain but also myself.

I gave in.

But for the past few weeks, I've been thinking if this is worth my time.

I asked for security.

But then you said, "in time".

Will it ever come?

feeling poet post for tonight. Fcuk.

xx

Just A Thought: 2014.....loading!

It's been almost a month since I posted something here. I've been busy with the things I prayed months ago. A lot of stuff with regards to my Masters Degree. There's reflection papers, case study reports, thoughts about legal basis, reporting, etc. There were also a lot of meetings, programs, gift giving, kasalang bayan, and Christmas parties at the City Hall. I know I prayed for this. But never in my wildest dream would I have imagined that it will all come true. I was determined to get this but I never thought that the universe will agree...

Anyway, all these things started with this message I got from an fb app called "God wants you to know..."

afternoon of June 16, 2013

I posted this because that time, I was thinking to resign. I didn't think it would mean more than that. This message made a huge sense after I heard the saddest, most heartbreaking, and life shattering news of my life.

After that, without any second thoughts, I passed my resignation. I remembered all the things I planned and wanted in my life. I brood over the things that my father wanted and dreamed for me. I want to teach. I want a Masters Degree at UP Diliman. I still want to teach the oppressed and marginalized people. I don't want to work in a call center anymore.

I started my unemployed life by taking a short course at Calamba Manpower Development Center. I took Bread & Pastry Production NC II and I already got my certificate. I also took MATE or the Masters Admission Test in Education. I passed, I enrolled and 3 months from now, I'll finish my first semester in UP Diliman. I was also able to renew my license as a Professional Teacher. This is it. I am getting there.

Another thing I prayed so hard is for God to remind me that my purpose is not in a BPO industry. I worked there for 4 years. I enjoyed it but I was not fulfilled. There were a lot of times when I was tempted to apply again because I want money. You can imagine how depressed I was four or five months ago. I was broke. I was incomplete. I was left behind. It's like I was living someone else's life that I am not used to. It was like I'm in a bad dream. Everyday I was praying that everything was just a dream. When I heard that before, I thought it was only a cliche. But, no. It's real. It is happening. There will be an unfortunate event in your life and all you can do is just wish. Wish that it was a just a bad dream. But every morning, every single morning, reality will smack me and remind me that it is not.

I miss my dad. I know he will be the first one to say, ang galing ko. And to quote one of The Scripts' songs, I hope he's up there with God saying, 'That's my kid!'

 Moving on, I know several people were asking how I ended up working in the City Government of Calamba. Simple. I sent them a message that they might need me. And they do. They asked me to visit Mayor's Office, job offer, and that's it. I believe this is God working on my life. A day before that, a call center company was calling me and they're offering a job. God answered my prayer. Transcom will be the first and last call center company I'll be connected with.

Who would have thought that I will be working with the Mayor? That there's a job wherein you'll just stalk your crush and get paid? kidding! But yes, our City Mayor is super guapo, super talino and very opinionated. It actually came to the point that I don''t feel like working at all.

Ou City Mayor - Atty. Justin Marc SB Chipeco

Speaking of the Mayor, I remember that we will have our meeting / planning tomorrow with the department heads. City Mayor + department heads + me. Again, who would have thought? Haha.

God says, "Forget what happened before, and do not think about the past. Look at the new thing I am going to do. It is already happening. Don't you see it?" (Isaiah 43:18-19)

Dear 2013,
I am glad and joyful that you are finally done.
You broke my heart into tiny pieces.
I don't hate you but I don't like you.
Happy New Year!

xoxo

Just A Thought: Officially Enrolled

Looking back, I remember how excited I was when I blogged last May the things that I want. One of those is to have my Masters Degree in University of the Philippines - Diliman.

And now, I am officially enrolled as a graduate student of Master of Arts in Education Major in Non-Formal Education for Second Semester A.Y. 2013-2014. It was tiring but worth it. Tiring - because I came all the way from Laguna and UP Diliman is a huge university that I had to walk a total of five kilometers going to different buildings to finish all their requirements like the medcert from UP Health Service.

Timeline:
May 24 - I passed my application and all the requirements for the second semester
Aug 1   - Received an email that I am qualified to take MATE  or the Master's Admission Test in Education [blog here]
Aug 29 - I took MATE [blog here]
Oct 16 - Received another email from the Office of the College Secretary that I passed MATE and I am qualified for the admission [blog here]
Oct 22 - Attended the orientation for the new UPCEd  Graduate students
Oct 23 - finished all the requirements such as medcert, university admission slip, and college admission slip
Nov 4 - enrollment!
Nov 5 - paid the tuition fee / ENROLLED!! :)

Movie house? No.
A much awaited play? No.
Concert? Hell no.
This is the line inside a theater for the tuition fee payment.
The UP Diliman Style!

xxxo

Musing: 026

2 Timothy 3

New International Version (NIV)

3 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.

6 They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over gullible women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, 7 always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth. 8 Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these teachers oppose the truth. They are men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. 9 But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone.

A Final Charge to Timothy

10 You, however, know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith, patience, love, endurance, 11 persecutions, sufferings—what kinds of things happened to me in Antioch, Iconium and Lystra, the persecutions I endured. Yet the Lord rescued me from all of them. 12 In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, 13 while evildoers and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. 14 But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, 15 and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. 16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17 so that the servant of God[a] may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Just A Thought: The Adversity of Being An Aquarius

Aquarians have extremely active minds. Whether they're planning for the future or obsessing over a current project, they spend a lot of time thinking and typically have a hard time shutting down.

- glo

Of all the characteristics of an Aquarius, this is the most accurate. We can't help but think. Whether it is realistic or not, we still love to envision certain things. Let me cite an example: I received a call for a job interview and guess where my mind sent me... First, it thought about how to answer questions for the interview. That's pretty acceptable. Second, how to deal with the students and co-teachers if ever I'll get the job. Third is how to leave them when I get my opportunity to teach in public schools. See? It's so advance and mind you, when I say "thinking", it includes a complete scenario like what I will say, or even what I will wear on my first day.

For the past few days, I am doing nothing but think. I promised myself last week to accomplish everything but here I am blogging about the adversity of being an aquarius. I hate to admit it but I'm not good in bringing these thoughts to life. I'm lazy or busy or what?

bus·y  

/ˈbizē/

Adjective Having a great deal to do.

Verb Keep occupied: "she busied herself with her new home".

Synonyms adjective.   occupied - engaged - active verb.   occupy

Am I? I'm so occupied with my thoughts. I have a lot of things to do but I don't know where to start. I remember a quote that knocked me the first time I read it. It says, Stop managing your time and start managing your focus. Where should I focus first? Let us put them on a list.

These are the things that occupy my extremely active mind:

1. MATE

2. career

3. La Vie En Moi Shoppe

4. an updated version of me

5. blog

6. further studies

7. life purpose

8. money

Those are the things that I can think of right away. Next question is, what are my priorities?

FIRST will be the Master's Admission Test in Education or MATE. It'll happen on the 29th of August at UP Diliman. Yes, UP DILIMAN beybe! I've been dreaming of studying in this school- Unibersidad ng Pilipinas! Hello?! Who doesn't?? I'll get my masters here. I WILL wear sablay two years after. I need this, I can do this and I definitely want this!

SECOND is having a career, a purpose in life and money at the same time. I don't want a job. I want a career. I don't want to work just to pay bills because that is not living. I want to show them my skills. I want to change the world. Wow! Aquarian trait strikes again! hahaha But joking aside, I just want a career where my passion and purpose will bump into each other. I think I'm in the same group where Patty Laurel is. I am in between. I am one of the people who have been fortunate enough to choose a career path that is meaningful but also have to face the harsh realities that come with the job. I want to be an effective teacher but I want to own a house and travel the whole world. Is it possible? Maybe. We all know the salary status of a teacher, right? Patty's advise is "to actually GO OUT THERE and experience life. Volunteer, Apply for an Internship, Talk to other people in the field you are eyeing for tips and helpful info. Arm yourself with all the knowledge and experience you could possibly gather then from there try to see if it would be a good fit for you. It will take time so just be patient and don't pressure yourself too much. What matters is that you WANT TO WORK, you WANT TO MAKE A MARK---that is still much better than having no drive at all."

There will always be an unglamorous side to any type of job,

as long as it doesn't lead you to compromise your values and beliefs---

you gotta stomach it and just do it!

Besides, you'll develop skills you never knew you had which will help you in the long run.

~Patty Laurel~

So what will be my goal? The ideal is to find a job that I am good at, that I actually believe in, and which will compensate me fairly. So help me God.

THIRD is further studies. I don't have any teaching experiences aside from the year I instructed English as the Second Language for Koreans. But unfortunately school admins did not consider this. They focused mainly on my four years in the BPO industry. Knowledge is not enough. My accent is not enough. My drive to perfection is not enough. They want experience! And what the heck I can do? I can't bring back those five years anymore. I don't want to regret these two working experiences. Why should I regret something I once wanted? I should make myself marketable or fit with what they're looking for. I will make them need me, want me. Mwahahaha! (exagerated laugh) And how can I make myself marketable? Aside from pursuing a Master's Degree in University of the Philippines, I am also planning to take some TESDA courses like Commercial Cooking or Baking or Dress Making. Being an English major is difficult especially nowadays because the number of English major students is getting bigger. Talk about competency and the economic rule: demand and supply! lol. When I got the certification in any of these courses, I will be qualified to teach other subjects such as Technical Vocational Courses or even the TLE subject in high schools.

FOURTH is the updated version of me. If you know what I mean. hahaha

FIFTH is blogging. This is my only outlet. A place or means of escape. I actually love how exclusive this is. I don't really care if no one is visiting my site. I just want a place of my own. I want it online since I am too lazy to manually write this on my journal. hehehe

SIXTH is my very own shop - La Vie En Moi Shoppe. I love selling my pre-loved items. I need to declutter, organize and live. It also helps me to achieve my Minimalism goal which is Own less, Live more. 

That's it! Goodnight for now. Let this extremely active mind get some good sleep.

xx

Musing: 011

Think of what you CAN do first. Deal with the complications later.

@rajolaurel

Excerpt: Sablay

Sablay is what UP students wear during commencement exercise. It is a garb that symbolizes Philippine nationalism, as opposed to the usual and Westernized toga-and-cap attire in graduation ceremonies. It was first used at UP Diliman in 1990.

It is a plain yet sophisticated loose piece of clothing that is put on the shoulder . Sablay got its inspiration from the malong worn by Muslims. But then, Sablay was able to integrate the different traditional elements found in other Philippine cultures. Running through the Sablay are geometric patterns of indigenous Philippine tribes.

The characters woven in front of the Sablay are Alibata figures, which simply stand for UP. Upon graduation, the Sablay is transferred from the right to the left shoulder – symbolizing the official completion to the life of a UP student.

(source: Wikipedia)

P.S.

I'll wear you on 2016.

Just A Thought: August ONE

~an open letter~

:)

Hi, Dad.

It's August! Mom's birth month and we miss you!! Anyway, I hope you saw my huge smile earlier when I checked my mail.

Okay. I know it's kinda oa since Admission Test pa lang yan but what the heck! UP DILIMAN SAYS I AM QUALIFIED. hahaha! Remember last May 24 when I passed my application for this? Tayo yung magkatext! :)

I miss your encouraging words, dad. This one is for you.

Love,
Your Panganay <3

Musing: 010

FACT

Just A Thought: La Vie En Moi Shoppe

07.30.13

will put up a website for this small venture soon! ...so stay tuned! :)

instagram: lavieshoppe
email: lavieenmoishoppe@yahoo.com
sms/viber: 09052293222

xx

Musing: 007

xx

Just A Thought: Surfing - a dream?

Aside from being a frustrated teacher, pole dancer, and a yogi, I'm also dreaming of becoming a surfer.

Yep! A surfer. But how? I don't even know how to swim. I can float but is it enough? Answer is, NO. (I just googled it couple of secs ago and tadah! dreams crashed. I can't.)

Definitely learn to swim, and swim well, before you go surfing. Even with a leash you will go under water and need to be familiar with swimming to the surface and in case the leash breaks, all without panicking. If you're doing something with the potential to submerge you in water, you should learn to swim. - Tango

Fuuuuck. Now I regret attending swimming lessons when I was a kid. Anyway... Why not learn how to swim first? haha Swimming Lesson @ 25. Why not? lol

Musing: 005

Humans learn only by trial and error, and that includes you.

You've got to live life, not think about it.

Step into the midst of things, try and fail and learn and stand up again.

The question is not whether you will or will not make mistakes - you will.

The question is do you want to learn and grow, or do you want to shrink back and be stuck?

Take that step you've been avoiding.

You can succeed, or you can get feedback that it didn't work,

but in either case you are sure to feel alive.

~God Wants You To Know, FB App~

Just A Thought: Believers

Let me do some quick rant this Sunday morning. I just have to discharge this negative vibes. :|

I was talking to my sister about my trip to South Korea next year and she was like, "Anu namang gagawin mo dun? Wala ka namang trabaho. Or naghahanap ka ba ng trabaho?" Like, seriously?!? I am unemployed for only 12 days! And you think I'm not going to look for a job until March?? And can't she just appreciate the fact that I stay here in our house, taking good care of his kid while she's studying, cleaning our whole house every single day, cooking, washing the dishes 3x a day and washing all their damn clothes!

And another one is my Tita. I was talking to my mom regarding a scholarship abroad. And she joined the conversation saying na mamamasyal lang naman ako dun at hindi magaaral. FYI, people - I have a plan. I have a dream. If you can't support me with that, if you don't believe in my dreams, it would be a lot better and I would really appreciate it if you'll just shut up.

Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself.

- Edmund Lee

Musing: 001

YOUR JOURNEY

has molded you for the greater good.

It was exactly what it needed to be.

Don't think you've lost time.

It took each and every situation you have encountered

to bring you to the now.

And now-

IS JUST RIGHT ON TIME.

- Asha Tyson

Excerpt: The POSITIVE Facebook Account

The People That Inspire Humanity

...I came across this facebook account that shares inspiring videos and quotes from all over the world. Yes, FAITH IN HUMANITY - RESTORED! Check it! :)

Have a good day!

Just A Thought: Say I WANT! -not 'i wish'

I was writing a super long blog earlier but it was gone! Anyway.... This is somewhat a very personal blog. :) For the past few weeks, I've been thinking, planning, and deciding what to do in my life. I just turned 25 last Valentines Day and this quarter life crisis is hitting me -big time!

I WANT to teach.

I'm currently working in a BPO company and I felt like I was wasting my time. No growth. Not company's fault, not the field's fault, but mine.  I never wanted a higher position. Simply because I don't have any plans of staying in that field. I am an Education Graduate. I should be teaching. Mind set.

But where am I? What am I now?

Aside from thinking, planning, and deciding what to do in my life - I also spent the last few weeks hating my present. This is not what I had planned. When I was about to graduate in college, I told myself that I'll be continuing my studies. I want to have a "Dr." prior to my name. But here I am, answering calls from foreigners, fix their cable problems, set-up an appointment for the technician to check it, holding to my inner peace whenever there are irate customers, and learn the art of pressing the mute button whenever I wanted to curse back.

Then my alter ego reminded me to STOP HATING MY PRESENT.

So here I am preparing for my Masters. I'm planning to take it in UP Diliman for 3 reasons:

1. Because it is UP Diliman.
2. They offer the major that I want.
3. One of my frustrations in life is to study in a university.

I WANT to be a dedicated blogger.

I surely want to keep this blog. To have an online record of my whereabouts and to inform people about everything and anything.

I WANT to be a pole dancer.

No kidding! I want to learn how to pole dance! Hahaha... I wanna get fit! Never ko pa naranasang maging magaan! haha

I WANT to travel.

No, I haven't been to Paris. This is just a photoshoped picture of me made by my little sister as a birthday gift. :)

That's it! These are my dreams. ;)

Let's get it on!

Life In Pixels: Get Rid Of Them ;)

Life In Pixels: The Unending Process On Earth